Premortem can be quite useful, but it can only get us so far. The truth is that most people dislike thinking ahead or making plans for the future. We are incredibly lousy at it; for example, very few of us actually save up for rainy days or enjoy playing chess. This is because we place more importance on the here and now. To some extent, premortem can be helpful, but how to eliminate stress for good is to completely change our perspective on stress. Worrying about what might happen or what could be is not one of our best qualities.
I would first advise you to watch Kelly McGonigal’s Ted Talk on “How to make stress your friend.” I can assure you that it will be worth your time. She goes into greater detail about the statistics, facts, and research on stress, which I will regrettably have to overlook in an effort to keep this blog post brief and to the point.
“Chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort. Go after what creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows.”
Kelly McGonigal
In a study conducted over an eight-year period in the USA with over 30000 participants, it was discovered that individuals who did not see stress as detrimental had a lower risk of passing away due to stress than those who did. This is a noteworthy finding because it shows that your body’s response to stress directly correlates with how you perceive stress. Therefore, it is imperative that we alter our perspective on stress and its effects. You can only truly learn how to eliminate stress when you begin to view it in a different light.
When you break a sweat or when your heart is pounding, these are normally considered as signs of anxiety. But what if you were to change that? What if you considered it as your body preparing you to do the challenging task at hand? Your heart is beating faster because it is pumping more blood to your brain to give it the energy it needs to think of a solution and take action. The excitement of the task ahead of you is causing your heart to race.
Your body will be physically affected by these minor adjustments. In fact, your heart rate increases, and your blood vessels constrict when you experience stress. Chronic stress and cardiovascular disease are sometimes linked as a result. But something extraordinary occurs for people who have been taught to consider stress beneficial. Similar to how the body reacts when feeling brave or happy, the heart rate increases while the blood vessels continue to be relaxed. Already here, we can see that the mind is a great weapon that one must correctly wield if one really wants to learn how to eliminate stress.
But things only get better from there. Most people are either unaware of or underappreciate the strange superpower that stress possesses. And that notion is that stress makes us more sociable. Remember how I said in the previous blog that when stressed, the brain releases the chemical cortisol, which causes the brain to become foggy? Well, the pituitary gland also releases a chemical as part of the stress reaction. This chemical is called oxytocin, aka the cuddle hormone. This is the same neurohormone that is released when you hug someone, and it is also responsible for sharpening your brain’s social instincts.
Oxytocin primes you to act in ways that deepen personal relationships and make you yearn for physical interaction with loved ones. It improves empathy and increases your desire to support and assist the individuals you care about. Therefore, your stress response not only encourages you to ask for help and be honest about your feelings, but it also makes sure that you are aware of individuals who are struggling around you so that you may provide them with assistance as well.
Here’s where things get really fascinating, though: Oxytocin has effects on both your body and brain. Protecting your cardiovascular system from the impacts of stress is its primary function in your body. As a natural anti-inflammatory, it aids in the relaxation of your blood vessels during stressful situations. Actually, the heart is most affected by oxytocin. This hormone has receptors in your heart, and it aids in the repair of any stress-related damage to heart cells by promoting cell growth. Your heart becomes stronger due to this stress hormone.
Social support and interaction with others increase all of oxytocin’s positive effects. When you reach out to others when you’re feeling stressed, whether it’s to get support or to help someone else, you release more of this hormone, which improves your stress response and speeds up your recovery time. Human connection is the stress resilience mechanism integrated into your stress response system.
“When you choose to view stress in this way, you’re not just getting better at stress, you’re actually making a pretty profound statement. You’re saying that you can trust yourself to handle life’s challenges and you’re remembering that you don’t have to face them alone.”
Kelly McGonigal
Resilience is produced by caring. It becomes clear once again that the harmful effects of stress on your health cannot be escaped. However, how you act and how you perceive stress can immensely transform your experience of stress. The biology of courage is created when you decide to see your stress response as beneficial. And most importantly, you create resilience when you choose to connect with others when stressed. This is how we learn how to eliminate stress for good.
